Damage Control

BOULDER, Colorado – The Otter Lodge (Inc.) has been made aware of a claim that a small boy and elderly woman were attacked by a river otter several days ago. This report has gained considerable press, and has been disseminated by numerous prominent media outlets, including CNN (below).

dnt otter attack victims speak komo

The Otter Lodge takes these claims very seriously, and does not condone behavior of this nature. Our thoughts and prayers are with the victims and their families, and we wish them a speedy recovery. This otter acted alone, and without the support of the greater otter community. Furthermore, it is well known that the river otter has long been the outcast of the otter community, and often will lash out due to an overriding inferiority complex and decades of bad breeding. The views of this particular river otter in no way reflect the views of The Otter Lodge, the otter species as a whole, or these mild-mannered fluffballs below.

DailyMailOtter2

This issue was originally brought to our attention by friend of the lodge James Hardmin. His full testimony is below.

  2 comments for “Damage Control

  1. Jay Hardy ("Hardmin, Sr.")
    August 10, 2014 at 6:29 pm

    “Inferiority complex” that’s a ’70’s term. Your generation should say the otter suffered from low self esteem. Come on man!

    • August 12, 2014 at 11:11 am

      Hardim. The original Hardmin. The authentic Hardmin. Glad you finally came by. Allow me to make you a drink.

      70’s term? I should probably take your word for it. Perhaps we should call it “seasonal affective otter depression?”

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